A Battle of the Brains
by SevandArty
Summary: A mysterious scientist has breached the communications of Haven. Holly needs Artemis's help to figure out who this guy is. When they meet him they are more than a little surprised. They were expecting something else...
1. Talking to Grammy

**I just recently got into the Big Bang Theory and thought I would try writing a fanfic about it. Shelly is my favorite character, and this is going to be a fic about him and Arty...**

Artemis was finding himself more and more bored with his life. He wanted more adventure, and had gotten used to the excitement and adrenaline that one Holly Short brought to his life. He hadn't seen her in quite some time, and he wondered what sort of underworld adventure he was missing out on. Artemis knew that the happenings of the fairy community really weren't his responsibility to know, but he had kind of grown accustomed to it.

Artemis had slowly lost hope that he would get a call from Holly just to chat. He had known that he had frightened her when Orion had told her incessantly that he loved her, but he didn't realize it had scared her so much that she wouldn't contact him at all. He missed her voice, as loath as he was to admit it. He missed her face, and her quick humor. Each day he kept imagining her buzzing him on the communicator, a smile in her voice as she explained why she hadn't contacted him in months, and Artemis was sure those thoughts were definitely not good for his brain. He had one of the highest IQ's in Europe and he should not be wasting it by thing incessantly about a female.

Artemis was sitting at his computer in his study, trying to focus on a project that his dad had set him on. Artemis Fowl Senior had told him to help out on the planet-saving schemes that he was up to, and Artemis had no choice but to comply. When he had first started researching for his dad, it had been something that he had enjoyed. His dad had wanted his help, something that had not happened at all when he had been a child. His father had completely changed from his criminal enterprise to an environmental one, something that Artemis II was having trouble devoting so much time to. He still had a longing in his bones to do criminal work, it was what he had grown up on.

Just when he was about to give up for the day, he was completely startled by a buzz on his finger that caused him to jolt out of his stupor and fall out of his desk chair. He turned the ring around on his finger taking a deep breath before speaking.

"Holly?"

"Hello, Arty, how's it going?" responded Holly's voice from the other end. Artemis was amazed by how great it was to hear her voice again.

"Um," was all he was able to say. Was there something wrong with his brain?

"Oh, gods, Artemis, I know we haven't spoken in a really long time, and I really do have an explanation for all of that, but right now we have found ourselves with a bit of an emergency."

Artemis gained control over himself immediately and pulled himself back up into his desk chair. "What is this emergency?"

"Somebody in California in the United States has found out about us. He is extremely smart, and unlike you, is an adult, which means he tends to be a little more harsh and unyielding. Although you weren't really a cup of tea in the beginning…"

Artemis sighed. "Okay, yes, I used to be a bit of a brat. What has this guy done?"

"He got through our communication system when he was doing some sort of experiment, and now is on his way to uncracking our codes completely. We would totally send in a team to wipe him, but we need a human arm so that we can figure out just how much he knows and whether or not he could be of use to us."

Artemis nodded to himself. Here was the adventure that he had wanted so badly. "When do you need me?" he asked.

Holly chuckled. "Well, I would look out your window."

Artemis stood, and outside the window he could see a slight shimmer. He smiled as he pulled the window up, allowing a newly visible Holly to step inside.

"Hey, Mud Boy," she chirped, standing on her tiptoes waiting him to bend over so that she could kiss him on the cheek.

XxX

Holly had been having a bad day. Well, it was more of a bad few months, but today was really taking the cake. They had been working so long on this case that she was really starting to wonder if the fairies really were going to be discovered and all die horrible deaths. Well, that was just her way of telling herself that she should keep working hard on this project or bad things would happen.

Communications had been completely shut down in Haven due to the breach in the lines. Nobody could chat, call, or engage in wireless communication of any sort, and that had been a rule for at least two months now. The civilian population was beginning to get a little rowdy, and Holly hated rowdy, and civilians, for that matter, just making rowdy civilians even worse.

She was trying to get through to the police station, but there were so many people crowded around that she could barely push herself through.

"I want to talk to my Grammy," cried a middle-aged elf, anger plastered on his face as he spotted Holly.

"Yeah, and I haven't spoken to my daughter in the longest time," rasped an old lady who was leaning on an old man who was frowning, either from also wanting to talk to their daughter, or the fact that the lady was yelling right next to his ear.

"And I would really like to buy pizza for delivery and not have to leave my house!" another man yelled.

Holly frowned. She hated when the civilians doubted the work of the police force. "Okay, everyone, please settle down. You all know that we have halted communications due to a breach in the lines, and if we do resume them there is the chance that we will be found and killed off by humans."

The area fell silent. Everyone looked a little shocked and a little ashamed. At least that was what Holly thought until they resumed their whining in full blast.

Holly ignored them and continued to the building. Commander Kelp was standing in the hallway looking back and forth as if he was trying to find something. His head jerked toward her as she entered the building.

"There you are!" he barked at Holly.

"What is it, Commander?"

"We have made a decision about this case."

Holly waited for him to tell her something that was not going to help the case and just make her angry.

"We have decided to bring in your little Mud Boy friend and his pet giant. We will be sending you to California to find the man that has breached our security and confront him directly. We need to figure out just how much he knows and how dangerous he is."

Holly was taken aback. "You actually want Artemis's help?"

"Yes."

"Oh, and he's not my boyfriend."

"I didn't say boyfriend, I said boy friend, you know like, friend that's boy?"

"Glad we cleared that up," grumbled Holly. "How am I going to get in contact with him?"

"Well, isn't the little communicator between you two kind of special? It runs on different signals, and if the call is extremely short, then we shouldn't arouse suspicions by using it."

Holly nodded, so excited to see the Irish boy that she hadn't talked to forever. She was going to actually be able to talk to him, and then she got to see him in person. Her horrible day took a swing for the better. She also was going to get to take a flight to the surface. This was actually turning out to be a _great_ day.

"We'll set you up with a Visa and some wings, and you can call him while you are flying there. You and Fowl will have to figure out how to get to California, but sometimes Mud Man transportation is the best way to go about things."

"When do you need me to get him?" asked Holly, hoping that it would be soon.

Kelp frowned at her. "Immediately."

**Well, there's the first chapter... Please review so that I will know whether or not to keep going on this fanfic... I tend to lose interest if my reviews stop... I know, horrible little me...**


	2. AnythingCanHappen Thursday

Leonard was sitting quite peacefully on the couch, watching a rerun of Babylon 5 while Sheldon was preoccupied in his room doing some science experiment. Leonard knew that Sheldon would never permit Babylon 5, and he had to watch it whenever Sheldon was not in the room. This meant that he didn't get to see all of the episodes, but that was okay, as long as he did get to catch a few reruns.

Leonard had no idea what sort of experiment Sheldon was currently doing, but it was something that had kept Sheldon in his room for a few days, only coming out for meals and bathroom breaks. Leonard suspected that it something to do with satellites, but other than that he had no information.

"LEONARD!" Sheldon screamed, running out of his room with alarm on his face. "Aliens are real, Leonard, they exist and now know of my superior intellect and will come and harvest my brains for their own personal gain."

When Sheldon was frightened, angry, or otherwise distressed his Texan accent came out, and right now he was twanging like when he had just moved to California.

"Sheldon, calm down, I'm sure that whatever it is you are worried about is no big deal."

Sheldon frowned and crossed his arms. "No big deal, huh? Well, when they come and kidnap me, and I return with no memories it is your fault. You will be extremely guilty that you didn't help me when I needed it."

Leonard sighed. So much for Babylon 5. He decided to see what the fuss was all about, and followed Sheldon to his bedroom.

There was the oddest contraption on Sheldon's bed. It appeared to be a type of satellite dish, but the similarities ended there. The metal was contorting out in ten different angles, dials on each piece. There were tons of buttons on the side, and it looked as if Sheldon had been working on making this for most of the time he was in here. Who knows where he had gotten all of the materials.

Sheldon walked up to it, spinning one of the dials that were on the side. "I was trying to listen in to conversations of top-secret science facilities-I just know they are doing something fishy- and I did catch a few, but I also found this. Listen closely, Leonard, this could make us either very rich, or very dead."

"Yeah, we could be dead anyways, considering you are breaking so many laws using this thing," grumbled Leonard, but he moved in closer to the machine.

They could both here snippets of a conversation that was in some weird language that sounded nothing like anything either of them had ever heard before. Whatever it was it sounded extremely _old. _The little indicator on the side of the machine was saying that the satellite that was being used to pick up these signals was controlled by something called the LEP. Neither Sheldon nor Leonard knew what the LEP was.

"This is odd, but I'm sure it is nothing that we should be worried about. It could be some secret organization that made up a language just for the sake of staying secret."

"A secret organization bent on _destroying us all_," hissed Sheldon, his eye twitching as he got even more paranoid.

"Come on, we need to get you out of this room and breathe a little fresh air."

Sheldon scoffed. "Fresh air has germs, and pollen, and other deadly diseases, and I will not go out of my way to get sick off of it."

Leonard sighed. "I just meant that you probably should take a break from this thing for a while, you are making yourself more paranoid the more you listen to it."

Sheldon's shoulders drooped in defeat. "Yes, if an alien race wanted me for their own, then I really have no way of stopping them."

"That's the spirit, buddy, now let's go get some food from the Cheesecake Factory!"

Sheldon straightened and frowned. "It is not Burger Tuesday."

"No, but it_ is_ Anything-Can-Happen Thursday."

Sheldon shook his head. "No, I am going to stay here and see if I can find anything else out about this mysterious satellite signal. I am still sticking to Anything-Can-Happen protocol."

Leonard left Sheldon in his room, knowing there was no way to convince him. He pulled out his cell phone and called Howard and Raj, telling them that they would be having a Sheldon-free dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Howard suggested they wear party hats to celebrate the occasion.

XxX

Artemis was pondering just how this mysterious man had figured out how to get through all of the LEP security that was protecting the satellite signals. This guy would've had to make a pretty powerful machine, and not to mention know a good deal about decoding passcodes and such.

Holly and Artemis were currently sitting in the Lear Jet, Butler piloting them to Pasadena California through the night. Neither of them were the least bit sleepy, having so much to tell each other after being away for so long.

"Yes, I have not had a relapse, which is a blessing in itself," explained Artemis, referring to the Atlantis Complex which he had suffered from months ago. He had gone through extensive care to get cured of it, but a relapse was a common symptom of the disease. "There is still a slight chance that I could suffer from a relapse, but the chances of that happening are not high."

Holly nodded. "I was so worried about you once you left, and unfortunately after that whole Atlantis problem the police force was run quite thin, making it impossible for me to check up on you, as much as I begged Kelp."

Artemis smiled sadly. "Our lives sure do keep as apart, don't they?"

Holly nodded, wishing it wasn't so. "I wonder where our dear Opal is, don't you?" asked Holly.

"Oh yes, each day I wonder if it will be our last. Surely she is out there somewhere, planning our deaths."

The two laughed as they reminisced about their adventures, the Opal ones and the ones without her. They had some great times, and they had had some scary ones, but they had had them together, which was what mattered.

When they had two hours left until they landed, Holly went over the plan with Artemis and Butler.

"Since we do not have Foaly with us on this one, we will have to go in pretty blind. We are relying on you, Artemis, to make friends with this guy. Get into his apartment and take a look around."

Artemis nodded, hoping that the scientist guy would be friendly. Genii did tend to take a liking to other genii, so Artemis was hopeful.

"I will be shielding next to you in case something bad happens, and Butler will come in after us at first call," explained Holly.

Butler adjusted the headset that had been modified to fit his large head. He turned to the two. "Please be careful, you guys. You never know what this guy will be like, and if he has such important information he may be hostile."

Artemis pondered something for a moment. "What will I tell him is the reason that I came to see him? Obviously it would be weird if I just came up to him and asked to be his friend," Artemis said, worried.

"Tell him that you have heard of his research at Cal Tech and you wanted to meet him."

Artemis nodded. He knew exactly what he would tell the man if he asked how Artemis had gotten ahold if his address.

"How did you guys find out that he is a scientist?"

"Foaly looked him up," explained Holly. "The guy's name is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and he is a Theoretical Physicist that works at Cal Tech, and he is supposed to be brilliant."

"I have heard of him, but never met him," Artemis responded.

The rest of the plane trip was left to finalizing the plan and going through what to do if something went wrong, and figuring out the best way to get to this guy.

"Unfortunately, until we have met him and know his personality we will never be able to predict how to best get on his good side," grumbled Holly as she gave Butler the coordinates to where they would be landing.

"Let's just hope this guy takes well to persuasion," stated Artemis, straightening his tie in anticipation.

**You better review, or I will be forced to become _very_ difficult to live with. What you have been seeing up to this point has been the happy-fun-time me. Mwa-ha-ha...**


	3. A Broken Elevator

"My day has just gotten infinitely worse," grumbled Artemis, staring at the yellow Out Of Order tape that was covering the elevator.

"Just bad timing," whispered Holly, trying to keep others from hearing an invisible fairy.

"There is a thick layer of dust on the tape. This elevator has been out of order for quite some time now," responded Artemis, looking closer at the door. "Well, I guess I better take the stairs…"

Artemis began to trudge up the stairs, Holly right behind. Artemis was wearing an Iris Cam and a tiny mic patch on his neck so Butler, who was back in the van that they had rented, could see immediately if there was a problem.

"Hey! Do you need something?" a female voice asked cheerfully.

Artemis turned. "Oh, hello there," greeted Artemis to the smiley blonde that was walking toward him.

"Are you looking for something? I haven't seen you here before, sooo…"

Artemis nodded. "I am looking for one Dr. Sheldon Cooper. We scheduled a meeting in his apartment for today."

A flash of annoyance flickered on the blonde's face, but then was replaced with a smile. "Yeah, I live next door to him and his roommate. I shall warn you though, Sheldon is…special."

"Well, I will have to persevere, our meeting is of upmost importance," responded Artemis, doubts flying through his head.

The blonde stuck out her hand for a handshake. "My name is Penny, nice to meet you."

Artemis took her hand. "Artemis Fowl II."

Penny just stared at him. "And where did you come from?" she asked, shaking herself out of the daze.

"Well…I came here from Dublin Ireland on one of my jets."

Penny resumed staring. "Did Sheldon breach national security or something, and they decided to send a child to deal with him?"

Artemis chuckled. "No, this is a much more personal issue, but it does involve security and top-secret information that Dr. Cooper has unearthed."

Penny rolled her eyes as they continued walking up the stairs. "So are you one of those beautiful mind guys too?"

"Well, I suppose so. I do have one of the highest IQ's in Europe," Artemis said modestly.

Penny resumed staring at him. "At least you can talk normally to people, whereas Sheldon really can't talk without letting everyone know just how unbelievably smart he is."

They had reached the fourth floor. Penny pointed to 4A. "That is where Sheldon and Leonard live, and I live here." Penny pointed at 4B.

"Thank you for your help," Artemis said, moving toward 4A.

"You're welcome. Good luck with Dr. Wack-a-doodle," she said, disappearing into her apartment.

"Well, now we know how others view the guy," whispered Holly, who had walked quietly behind them as they had climbed the stairs, and was now standing beside Artemis at the door.

Artemis took a deep breath and gently knocked on the door. A few seconds passed, and then a short man with curly hair and thick black glasses answered the door.

"Can I help you?" he asked, squinting at Artemis.

This couldn't be the brilliant scientist that had breached the LEP satellite system. This man couldn't even use proper grammar.

"I'm sure you can help us, but the question is whether or not you will," Artemis responded.

He felt an elbow from Holly. "Um," was all the man at the door could say.

"I apologize, I am looking for one Dr. Sheldon Cooper," mended Artemis.

"Yes, he is in his room, I will get him right away. Would you like to come in?"

Artemis nodded, and moved past the man and into the living room, Holly sneaking in right behind him. This guy must be the Leonard that Penny had been talking about.

"You may have a seat if you wish," Leonard told Artemis, waving a hand at the couch.

Artemis thanked the guy and sat down in the furthest seat to the left on the couch as Leonard went into the back hallway.

Artemis was just wondering if Leonard had been killed by something, when he returned, a tall lanky man following behind him. He was wearing a superhero t-shirt of some sort over top of a long sleeve shirt that was rolled up to his elbows, a pair of chinos, and a black watch on his wrist. His brown hair was cut short on his scalp, making his forehead seem tall. It was a very interesting look that seemed to fit him well.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper walked into the room, frowning at Artemis for some reason that was undisclosed. "You are in my spot," snapped Sheldon, staring at Artemis.

"Hello, Dr. Cooper, my name is Master Artemis Fowl II, and I have some very important business to discuss with you," Artemis greeted, and he refrained from offering a handshake, already able to tell that this was a man that didn't like them.

"I will not speak with you until you exit my spot," growled Sheldon, apparently unable to bear leaving it alone.

Leonard, who was still in the room, interjected. "I really would sit elsewhere, or nothing else will get done," he suggested, and Artemis moved to the other end of the couch.

Sheldon visibly relaxed. "What could a kid possibly want from me, a Physicist of the highest caliber?" Sheldon paused for a second. "Other than to faun at my amazing brilliance and ability?"

Artemis shook his head. "While I do not doubt your ability, I would have you know that I also have a very high IQ and would appreciate it if you do not doubt my ability either."

Sheldon's eye twitched. "How high?"

"Well, I have yet to find somebody in Europe that has a higher one."

Sheldon stared at Artemis. "Something fishy is going on here," he stated, turning to Leonard with a frown on his face. Artemis could detect a slight southern accent in his voice.

"Do not worry, Dr. Cooper, I am just here to discuss some important information with you," assured Artemis, his voice taking on the silky quality that had gotten him so far in life.

Sheldon turned to him again, not easing up as much as Artemis had wanted him to. "Sure, sure, I will let my guard down, and then you can alert the rest of your alien species that I am free for the taking."

Artemis turned to Leonard. "If you will, this matter that I wish to discuss with Dr. Cooper is top-secret material," he said smoothly.

Leonard nodded, still looking kind of confused. He grabbed his bag and keys, shutting the door to the apartment behind him.

Artemis looked back at Sheldon. "Dr. Cooper, as one genius to another I would like to start on a good foot. I know there are not that many respectable genii out there, and it is nice to finally be speaking to one of the good ones," said Artemis, trying to use flattery on the scientist.

A small smile twitched on the corners of Sheldon's mouth. Maybe this was working. "Flattery, really? I could probably get that from the lunch ladies at the University."

Artemis frowned. Maybe he didn't like this guy after all. "Okay, here is the deal. You have uncovered information that is top-secret that nobody should know about. I have advanced technologies on my side that would make your little Cal Tech cry like a preschool. You shall cooperate with my friends and I or you will not remember this conversation, or even how you made that satellite device in the first place."

Sheldon's small smile disappeared. "What sort of technologies?"

Artemis smiled. He was going to get to show off, something that all genii loved to do. "Now, even though my eyes are actually two different colors, this one right here has a contact in it," said Artemis, pointing to his hazel eye. "In this contact is a camera that not only can transmit what I am seeing back to my headquarters, but it can also filter my vision either to a heat detector or zoom in up to 250% original size."

Sheldon's eyes widened. Artemis continued, loving it. "There is a small patch on my throat that can transmit the sound waves in my voice back to headquarters, and it is practically invisible."

"What organization are you working for, anyways?" asked Sheldon, too alarmed to formulate a biting comeback.

"The LEP."

"And what is that exactly, other than a species or alien life form that speaks another language and uses top-secret satellites?"

Artemis glanced toward the empty chair in the living room, wondering whether or not he should tell him.

"Dr. Cooper, the only way I will be able to tell you this information is if you pledge allegiance to us and promise that you will not tell another soul. I am one of four humans that know about this, those other three being of either relation to me or my bodyguard. You cannot be difficult, and you must not use them for your own personal gain."

Sheldon stared at Artemis, looking confused and a little scared. "Are they not human?"

"I cannot lie to you and say that they are."

Sheldon looked panicked. "I can't go around knowing that there is something that is monitoring humans without knowing what it is, and I am horrible at keeping secrets!"

"Well, if we decide that you are not trustworthy we will just mind-wipe you," explained Artemis.

Sheldon jumped up on the couch. "My mind must not be tampered with! I am a genius with a brain very important to the survival of the human society!"

Artemis sighed. "Then you must keep this secret. The only reason we are even considering letting you know this information is because you are a genius and may be of help to us. We can give you secret-keeping classes if you wish."

Sheldon nodded, and Artemis could tell that he really wanted to know this information. "I will try as hard as I can to keep this secret."

"Well, hopefully it will help knowing that if you do give away anything away, everybody that you told and yourself will be mind-wiped, and that may just cause some IQ points to drop."

Sheldon shuddered. Artemis smiled. "Now, before I tell you anything, can you inform me as to how you picked up on our satellite waves?"

Sheldon stood, signaling for Artemis to follow him towards the back hallway. "It is quite genius, really," he said proudly, a smile returning on his face. "I made it with leftover materials from an experiment I was doing at the University." Sheldon opened the door to one of the back rooms, entering, Artemis right behind him, and Holly sneaking in behind Artemis.

"Wow, this is one piece of equipment you got here," mumbled Artemis, taking in the magnitude of the device on Sheldon's bed.

"Yes, it was quite fun to build."

Artemis went up to it and began to investigate. "This reminds me of something that I made a long time ago. It was able to crack the LEP coding, but by that point I had already known about them."

Sheldon was looking curiously at the boy. "How did you come to find out about them?"

Artemis shrugged his shoulders. "That is a story that will have to wait until you already know about the LEP. Anyways, I just want to warn you, when you make things like this they have the danger of getting into the wrong hands. When I made the device it got stolen by the most ambitious, evil man in the world who would go to the ends of the Earth to destroy anything he could to get him further along in life."

Sheldon shuddered. "Reminds me of all of the bullies when I was in school." He then eyed Artemis. "You aren't one of those people, are you?"

"If I was, then I would not be employing these tactics. You are a full grown man quite capable of killing me easily if you wanted to."

"Your organization can take this device if they want to, as long as I get to learn about them and all of their special technology."

Artemis nodded. "I think we have seen enough. We will show you who we are." He turned to where he knew Holly was standing. "Holly?"

Holly shimmered into view beside Artemis. Sheldon's eyes widened and his face paled. "Oh, dear Lord," he mumbled, crumpling to the ground, passed out cold.

"That was definitely not the reaction I was expecting," mumbled Artemis.

**Knock. Knock. Knock. Review. Knock. Knock. Knock. Review. Knock. Knock. Knock. Review.**


	4. Dr Crazy

Sheldon woke up to a blinding light. Was he dead? Oh, Lord, his mother was going to kill him for dying. He hadn't been able to say goodbye to his comic book collection!

Sheldon heard whispering. "Is he awake yet?" It was a female voice, one that Sheldon had never heard before.

"Looks as if he's coming to." Now this voice Sheldon knew he had never heard before. It was a deep, gravelly voice that Sheldon was scared of right away. This sounded like a guy that could kill him by talking too loudly.

"I had no idea that he would pass out when Holly became visible, or I would've told him about her first," grumbled a third voice, and this one Sheldon did recognize. Like that, everything came back to him.

A strange boy with two different colored eyes had told him that Sheldon was in trouble with a secret society of some sort that was in control of very advanced technology. The boy had also said that he was as smart as Sheldon, and Sheldon had trouble believing that, but it didn't really matter as long as the kid was going to explain everything about the LEP.

Sheldon had been excited and a little scared about finding out whatever this odd boy had to tell him, and was ready for whatever strange thing he was about say. What he hadn't expected, though, was a _creature_ to appear in his room _smiling_. It had frightened the bejesus out of him, causing him to pass out, and _that_ was why he was just waking up. And he was in some unfamiliar place judging by the ground underneath him.

Sheldon sat up, rubbing his eyes. He opened them to find he was in some sort of vehicle. They had _kidnapped_ him. Yup, they were going to harvest his brain for sure.

"Hey, look who's awake," said the _thing _that had appeared in his room. For intents and purposes she looked like a child, but her body was the wrong proportions, and she had pointed ears.

"Are you a hobbit?" was all Sheldon was able to ask.

The female frowned, her little hands forming fists. She glared at him angrily, and Sheldon realized that she had the same mismatched eyes that the boy had.

Artemis stepped in front of Holly. "We were going to explain all of that to you, but you passed out too quickly," he explained, a smile forming on his face at Sheldon's embarrassment.

"If you would, I really would enjoy an explanation."

"Holly here," Artemis said, gesturing at the female. "Is a fairy. She is one of a large species of creatures that live in the center of the Earth in a place called Haven. She is of the elven breed of fairies. There are seven different types. They have kept themselves secret from humans since the large war between fairies and humans. Fairies have superior technology and weaponry, but humans are far too abundant for them to even stand the slightest chance against them."

Sheldon felt like passing out again. This couldn't be real. He was just having one of his bad dreams again, and would wake up any minute and yell to Leonard.

"The reason you didn't know that Holly was in the room with us was because she was shielding, a part of her magical powers that allows her to vibrate fast enough that she is not visible to human eyes," continued Artemis, unaware of Sheldon's distress.

Sheldon was getting dizzy, and felt nauseous. He must have gotten a concussion when he had passed out. He groaned, putting both hands on the sides of his head.

Artemis looked closer at the scientist on the floor. He turned to Holly. "Can you heal him up? I think that he has a concussion," Artemis said to Holly.

The female crossed over towards Sheldon, and he was going to request that she leave him alone and not touch him, but he was way too dizzy.

"Just sit still," commanded Holly, placing a hand on the side of his face. He jerked in alarm, but decided against doing it again when he felt on the verge of vomiting.

"Heal," she whispered, and green sparks flowed out of her hand. Sheldon felt better immediately.

Holly stepped away. "There," she said in satisfaction.

Sheldon was speechless. He just continued to stare at the elf female, not knowing what to think of this new turn of events.

"Hmm…I think he's broken," mumbled Holly, waving her hand in front of Sheldon's face. That got his attention. He pushed her hand away and stood up. This made him tower over both Artemis and Holly, and they both had to look up to continue to talk to him.

"I am fine, thank you," Sheldon snapped, crossing his arms. He then noticed the giant that was driving. They were in a _plane._ He felt like passing out again, but he was too eager to know more about the fairies.

"Good to know, otherwise we would have had to recycle you," chuckled Holly. Apparently she was a joker. Sheldon took note of that for later.

"Could you…uh…shield again? I am quite curious as to how that works," Sheldon asked Holly.

"Sure thing, Dr. Crazy," she chirped, buzzing out of view. All that was left of her was a slight shimmer in the air. Sheldon was amazed. This was the greatest thing ever.

"Just out of curiosity, why did you kidnap me? And where are we flying to?" Sheldon asked, still paranoid as to whether or not they were going to harvest his brains.

Artemis smiled a grin that made Sheldon really frightened. It reminded him of all of the vampire movies that he had ever seen.

"We are taking you back to Ireland with us. We figured that was the best way to go considering Holly and I are not familiar with California or the US. We already made up excuses for your job. Unfortunately, your friends do not know anything about this…"

Sheldon was speechless. He had been _kidnapped._ Then he remembered something.

"What is the LEP? You didn't explain that."

Holly took over for Artemis in explaining. "The LEP stands for Lower Elements Police. It's the fairy police force that runs the lower elements. I am Captain Holly Short of the LEP."

Sheldon nodded. It made sense. It was hard getting over the fact that there were _fairies _living under his feet. He then remembered that there was only a layer of metal below his feet, and then thousands of feet of _air._ He felt dizzy again.

"How did you find out about the fairies?" he asked, trying to distract himself.

"Internet research led me to believe they were real, so I decided to learn more about them. I stole one of their sacred books from an old drunken sprite and decoded their language. I can speak fluent Gnommish, by the way. I devised a brilliant plan to get ransom from the fairies by kidnapping her," he said, looking at Holly, who smiled as if it was a fond memory.

"Yeah, I hated his guts to begin with," stated Holly, elbowing Artemis in the side.

"I managed to be the only human to ever escape a time-stop, which is a bubble of magic placed over an area to keep the time frozen, even though the fairies wanted me dead and were going to use a special, high-tech bomb to do so. I managed to keep half of the fairy gold, the other half I gave back in an exchange with Holly, and I became Undesirable Number One in the eyes of the fairies."

Sheldon couldn't help but be impressed. "And how come you're all, as my mother would say, buddy-buddy now?"

Holly looked at Artemis with a smile. "As the years passed, we went on many life-endangering adventures to save the fairy race and he changed over time. He is not the little stuck-up brat he used to be," chuckled Holly, punching Artemis lightly on the shoulder.

Artemis glared at her. "How many times have I told you that I do not appreciate the violent affection that you seem to enjoy?" he grumbled, rubbing the spot where she had punched him.

Sheldon suddenly had more respect for the kid. He seemed to be just as smart as he was saying he was, and seemed to share some of Sheldon's aversions to touching.

Holly just smiled wider. Her smile disappeared, though, when Artemis, under Sheldon's request, began explaining fairy technology. Now, Holly was able to handle the brilliant Artemis, but when the two masterminds were conversing back and forth she could barely understand a thing they were saying, and she decided to go talk to the giant in the front, who Sheldon came to know was called Butler, Artemis's bodyguard for life.

After what felt like hours, Sheldon felt the plane begin to descend. Over the long period of time speaking in technical terms with the child mastermind, he had taking a liking to him. Despite the caring, gentle personality that he showed around Holly and friends, Sheldon could tell underneath there somewhere was a cool, calculating mastermind that knew how to get what he wanted. Sheldon didn't have to explain anything that he was saying, and Artemis usually understood where he was coming from on some of his theories and ideas.

As they were landing, Sheldon began to get anxious. He _hated _airplanes, and the time period where they were most likely to crash was landing and taking off. Since he had been unconscious when they had taken off he could spend all of his anxiety on the landing. Artemis was no longer able to hold a reasonable conversation with him as Sheldon became completely focused on not passing out.

It didn't help the fact that Artemis decided that he wanted to land the plane, saying that it helped clear his head. A _child_ was going to land the plane. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…

Sheldon kept repeating that in his head until the plane was on solid ground.

"Hey, Dr. Crazy, we've landed, you can stop saying 'oh dear'," chuckled Holly. So maybe he hadn't been saying it in his head…

XxX

It had been quite a feat for Artemis, an out of shape sixteen-year-old, and Holly, and elf of three feet tall, to get an unconscious Sheldon Cooper out of the apartment. Holly hooked him to her Moon Belt and shielded, rendering both her and Sheldon invisible. Even hooked up to the Moon Belt, Sheldon was still a tall guy, and Holly had been forced to go very slow down the stairs, stopping completely and pressing herself against the wall if a person passed by them. Artemis helped by directing her as to when there was somebody else on the stairs. A few people looked at Artemis funny, considering how slowly he was descending the stairs, not to mention the fact that he was wearing a suit and tie.

They did make it to the van without incident, though, placing Sheldon in an empty seat. Butler drove them to the jet and pulled over to the rental place. Luckily there was a car rental business right across the street from the small airport where they had landed, so Butler was able to park the car right across the street and walk over. They boarded the jet, Butler carrying the unconscious scientist this time, and found their places. They decided to leave Sheldon on the floor, not wanting to fit him into one of the seats.

They took off without incident, and Artemis took the time before Sheldon woke up to call his work and set up _affairs. _Dr. Cooper was now on long-term sick leave, having contracted a serious disease and having to get flown over to Ireland to visit a top doctor there. It wasn't _all_ a lie.

"That guy is one of the crazies," mumbled Holly, looking at Sheldon, who was still unconscious. "I really hope the guy isn't dead."

"He's not dead, Holly, I can see him breathing," responded Artemis.

"When I found out he was a really smart scientist, I was thinking, you know, creepy looking, nerdy guy, and I was partially right, but this guy is kinda _cute_," chuckled Holly, moving closer to the man on the floor. "You know, as cute as a Mud Man can be."

Holly had her back to Artemis, so she was not able to see his head jerk toward her when she had said that. Artemis knew that Holly should be able to say whatever she wanted about said scientist, but he couldn't help a pang of, what was it? Jealousy to run through him.

When Sheldon came to, it was one thing after another. Artemis found he quite liked talking to Sheldon, a man who had really given up normal human feelings for science and knowledge. Of course, there was anger, sadness, anxiety, and jealousy, to name a few, but many of the feelings required for normal human interaction just weren't there. He couldn't pick up on sarcasm easily, and he had no sense of empathy whatsoever.

Sheldon seemed very eager to learn more about the amazing technology that the fairies had, and Artemis was eager to explain. He just knew that Foaly would either love or hate this guy. For one thing, Foaly loved to show off his work to people who understood it, but Sheldon had a tendency to think that he was the smartest, and Foaly would not take that well at all.

Of course, all communication with the guy had stopped when the plane had started to descend. For a guy who was so brilliant, he had many fears and idiosyncrasies. Artemis decided to pick on him even more by landing the jet himself. There was no danger in that, though, because Artemis was probably a better flyer than most commercial airline pilots, but Sheldon did not know that, and just the thought of a kid flying made him freak out.

While Artemis was too busy piloting the jet, Holly took it upon herself to stare at Sheldon, who was clutching the armrests of his seat, mumbling, "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear," over and over again. She thought it was sweet for a grown man to be so scared of such a thing, and she had tried to console him, but he was too busy being very, very scared.

Holly was having very mixed feelings. For one, she liked Artemis despite the fact that not only was a teenager, but also was a human. This made it very difficult for her to even begin to address these feelings. Now, here she was, drooling over another Mud Man, this one even stranger than Artemis. At least this guy was not a teenager… She must have something for the smart, genius guys.

They landed and pulled up to Fowl Manor, and Artemis noticed Sheldon staring out the window in awe.

"Fowl Manor has been in my family for generations. It has survived wars and raids, and most recently, an attack by a fairy Recon team and a huge mountain troll."

Sheldon was only able to nod. "Nothing like finding yourself up against an Irish criminal mastermind, but also one who just happens to be _rich, _not only that but also a _child_."

Artemis just smiled. "I'm not so much of a criminal anymore, though. I have mended my ways, working _with_ the fairies instead of kidnapping them. And you of all people should know that children should not be underestimated. You told me that you went to college very young."

They exited the jet, but Sheldon stood there, something apparently bothering him.

"What's wrong, Dr. Crazy?" asked Holly, really liking the name she had chosen for him.

"Well, it has just come to my attention that I am in a different country entirely without so much as a small bag of my items used for overnight stays."

"Don't freak out, Dr. Crazy, we packed a bag of your stuff for you. We knew that you were probably one of those guys."

"Wait, you touched my toothbrush?"

"Uh, yeah," said Holly, apparently not realizing the problem.

"And you entered my room."

"Yes."

"Holly, people cannot be in my room or touch my toothbrush."

"Well, newsflash, Dr. Crazy Mud Man, I am not people, now am I?"

Sheldon seemed stumped by this, falling silent as he grabbed the bag that had been presented to him as they made their way towards the manor. Artemis informed them that the twins and his parents were on a vacation, Artemis having refused to go based on the fact that he had _studies_ he had wanted to do. Holly informed Sheldon that they would all be making a trip to Haven in order for him to discuss business with the Council and Commander Kelp.

Sheldon looked a little pale as she explained this to him, but nodded, nonetheless.

Holly explained that she would have to stay at the manor overnight in order to be able to escort them to the Tara station in the morning. Artemis was very happy that they lived in a huge house and were able to have room for so many guests.

Artemis showed them all to their rooms and coordinating bathrooms, bidding them a goodnight as he did so. He made his way back to his own room, feeling suddenly tired. It had been a taxing day, flying to the United States, kidnapping a genius, and then flying back.

Artemis knew that the fun was only just getting started.

**Ugh...I'm too tired to tell you to review. So do it without me asking you to...please...**


	5. Have You Seen this Roommate?

**Haha! I finally finished this chapter. Sorry if there are any mistakes, I only read through it once in an effort to get it up faster...**

For the second time in so many hours Sheldon woke up in an unfamiliar place. He sat up in panic, only to remember that he had fallen asleep here late last night. Of course it had been dark outside, so he was not able to appreciate the beauty of the building that he was currently in. This place was huge, containing so many rooms that one could get lost trying to find their way to the bathroom, which reminded Sheldon of what had woken him up.

Despite the medieval furnishings and style of the manor, it was installed with a quite fine system of technology. The digital clock on the dresser read 5:15, and upon a press of a button it displayed the time of all of the different time zones. Sheldon didn't need that fancy setting to know that it was 9:15 PM back in California. Sheldon shuddered, knowing just how messed up his internal clock was becoming due to the infernal time change. Eight hours was a lot of time in Sheldon's book, and Sheldon's book was a very long, detailed book.

Sheldon stood, using his eidetic memory to recall where he had been told the bathroom was located. Even in the tired and stressed state he was in last night, he was still able to remember everything that had happened, up to the color of the seats that were on the jet and the music that was playing in the background.

He found the bathroom without much incident, and he decided a shower was in order. He collected some clothing from his suitcase, and located a freshly laundered towel. This place was like a hotel with its little complementary bottles of soap and fresh towels, and Sheldon did not like hotels.

Sheldon felt infinitely better once he was showered and in clean clothing. He looked at himself in the mirror, noticing the pallor that had settled on his face and the circles under his eyes that indicated lack of sleep and stress. Pull yourself together, Cooper, he thought. You are on the adventure of a lifetime and you can't handle it without passing out, or getting dizzy. Nobody has even tried to kill you yet! Of course Sheldon knew deep down that he was not the kind of person that would do well on an adventure. There were too many unknown factors that Sheldon liked to iron out in his normal life.

Sheldon brushed his teeth and left the bathroom, navigating back to his room. He looked at his watch. It was still only 5:45. Artemis had distinctly said that they should all meet in his study at 7:30, and Sheldon could tell that he was a man, uh kid, of punctuality.

He vaguely wondered if the guys back at home were wondering where he was. How in the world would they keep the group together without him there? He was the social center of the group, after all.

Sheldon decided that he would do some exploring, feeling the strangest urge to leave bread crumbs behind him to mark where he had been. This place was fantastic, and even though Sheldon had little time for the appreciation of interior decorating, he decided that this place was worth admiring.

Sheldon turned a corner and practically flattened Holly Short, who was apparently also wandering the place.

"Watch it!" she yelped, backing up quickly.

Sheldon was startled. "Oh dear Lord. You frightened me."

"What are you doing out of your 'quarters'?" chuckled Holly, making air quotes with her fingers.

"I could ask you the same question," countered Sheldon, repressing the urge to sanitize himself after coming into contact with the elf. Who knew what kind of elven diseases she was carrying?

"Well, to answer your question that was really my question first, I am a bit of an early riser, and I wanted to explore this place from a different point of view. Last time I went exploring here I was being held captive, and that can kind of diminish your ideas on a place," explained Holly.

"I would like to hear the full details of your adventures at some point, as they seem gripping beyond belief. You should write a book about it or maybe even a few graphic novels," Sheldon said, his head tilting as he pondered the new ideas running through his head.

"Yeah, maybe," chuckled Holly, beginning to walk down the long hallway, and Sheldon followed her silently.

"Why exactly do your people want to see me? I know that I broke into top-secret satellite signals, but why didn't you just wipe my mind when you first found me?" asked Sheldon, his southern drawl giving away the fact that he was nervous.

"They have their reasons," Holly chuckled vaguely, and Sheldon's eye twitched.

XxX

Leonard checked his watch. It had been two hours since the strange boy with the Irish accent had told him to leave his apartment so that he could speak with Sheldon alone. Leonard figured that he should be able to go back home now, and the only reason he had waited so long was the fact that he really didn't want to interrupt Sheldon in the middle of something important. He would _never_ hear the end of that.

Leonard pulled out his house key, putting his ear up to the door to check for signs of conversation. He couldn't hear anything, so he let himself into the apartment. The kitchen and living room were empty.

Leonard checked his watch. This was right around the time that Sheldon usually set aside for watching his favorite anime. Sheldon never missed watching his shows if he could help it, and he usually made a point to help it.

"Sheldon?" Leonard called. There was no answer.

Leonard walked to the back hallway and glanced in Sheldon's room. He wasn't there. He checked in the rest of the rooms. Sheldon was nowhere to be found. Leonard repressed the urge to whistle out to him.

He called Sheldon's cellphone and it immediately went to voicemail. Leonard couldn't recall ever hearing Sheldon's voicemail, as he always answered the phone. Sheldon always had his phone on, and this made Leonard start to worry a little bit. Had he run away? Leonard thought about putting up lost roommate posters, but decided against it. Too much paper wasted.

He walked over to Penny's door and knocked.

"Hey, what's up, Leonard?" Penny asked him when she answered the door.

"Sheldon's gone missing."

"Oh gosh, we better go looking for him before he gets hit by a car or something," Penny said, the smile disappearing from her face.

"That strange Irish boy that was here earlier must have taken him," Leonard said. "Ireland is probably going to lock him in their prisons for violating national security or something."

That's when Howard and Raj walked up the stairs, carrying Chinese takeout food. Both Penny and Leonard decided that Sheldon would survive the hour that it took to eat and relax with the guys, and he didn't want Sheldon's portion to go to waste, so they shared it amongst themselves. Sheldon had good taste.

XxX

"Alright, does everyone remember our plan of action?" Artemis asked the room at large.

Holly, Butler, and Sheldon all nodded. Sheldon was looking a little paler than usual.

"Make sure that you do not neglect to employ the safety gear once we get in the shuttle," Artemis said to Sheldon. "Without it you would never be able to survive the pressure of the underground city."

Sheldon frowned. "I have an eidetic memory. I won't forget."

Artemis frowned right back. "The question is not whether or not you will forget. It is whether or not you will execute the task in time."

Holly looked back and for between the two geniuses. "This is going to be a blast," she chuckled, loving that Artemis and Sheldon were giving each other a run for their money.

Butler was pretty sure that this was not in the job title. He was supposed to only be watching over Artemis, but since Holly had changed them all for the better, he felt the need to become the general bodyguard and not just Artemis's personal bodyguard. He knew that Artemis would also agree to this, as Holly had changed him as well, probably more than anyone else had. He was worried about having so many heads to watch; last time he had tried to save a whole group of people Artemis and Holly had ended up stuck in Limbo for four years.

Holly explained to them how they would be getting down to Haven and where they would be going once in Haven. She explained that they would be travelling to one of the few places in the underground city with an equalized pressure so that they may have Mud Men down there. She also warned Sheldon not to act too humanly around the Council since they didn't really like Mud Men.

"Do not worry about that. I am not your usual human. I am a _homo novus_," stated Sheldon matter-of-factly.

Holly didn't even bother asking what a _homo novus_ was.

When Holly explained how the chutes worked Sheldon looked on the verge of passing out. "All of that is based solely on chance?" he asked, his voice rising in pitch.

"More than just chance. Our computers can predict surges up to 99% of the time," she assured. She didn't mention the fact that if a surge did come as they were descending that they would be little more than hot ash floating in the chute, as shuttles were not meant to take the heat that pods were.

"I don't like 99%... I like a nice, solid 100."

"Too bad, Dr. Crazy."

Sheldon's eye twitched. Holly had never seen anybody that twitched that much and she found that he was kind of cute when he was either angry or nervous.

Artemis looked at his watch. "Let's load the car, why don't we?" he said.

About thirty minutes later, after checking and rechecking that everything was there for the sake of Sheldon's sanity, Butler was driving them toward the Tara chute. Holly, even though she loved fresh air and real vegetation, was also eager to see fairies again. She could only take so much Mud Man junk.

The car ride was almost unbearable with Sheldon asking them incessant questions about safety of the chutes and shuttles. He wanted to know things about Haven pressure systems that Holly had no idea how to answer. Luckily Artemis had done his research and knew most of the things that Sheldon asked, but some things he had to leave unanswered, which made Sheldon even more nervous.

"I feel sick," he mumbled, his eyes closed.

"Do not puke in the Bentley," Artemis warned.

"Somebody sing Soft Kitty," he moaned.

"Um," was all Holly was able to say.

"It's a song my mother always sings to me when I feel sick. It will calm me."

"I'm afraid I don't know it," Holly said, relieved that she didn't know it.

Sheldon's eyes snapped open. "I'll teach it to you."

A few verses of Sheldon's singing later and Holly found herself singing to the grown Mud Man in the seat across from her. Artemis had a grin on his face, and Butler looked as stoic as ever. She desperately hoped that they would arrive at Tara soon.

**Review or I will be forced to sing either Soft Kitty or Riverstomp to you... Whichever hurts more...**


	6. The Splash Zone

**Another chapter done, and I feel very happy! It is kinda difficult to be writing two crossovers with one of the same books in both without forgetting which things they said to each side. And it just so happens both of the two Arty crossovers I have had a recent chapter that involved going to Tara to get to Haven... confusing...anyways, story time!**

Artemis remembered his first ride with Holly in the chutes. She had disliked him at that point and had tried as hard as she could to scare him. It had worked, but Artemis knew that the elf was not suicidal and was not overly worried about dying. Sheldon, on the other hand, did not trust anybody but himself, and he was quite sure that Holly was trying to kill them all as she piloted the shuttle safely down the chute.

"Is it getting warmer in here? Your computers must have misjudged when the flare was supposed to come. Maybe this is all a conspiracy and they want us all dead," rambled Sheldon, gripping onto the arms of the seat he was strapped into for safety. "You must all be holograms and I am the only living thing here that will die when this piece of metal goes up in flames!"

"Shut up, or I may accidently run this thing into a wall," warned Holly as she adjusted the shuttle in the chute. Artemis knew that she was kidding. Not even being chased by heat-seeking bombs or evil pixies could have Holly Short lose control of a shuttle.

Sheldon made it about halfway through the journey to Haven before he passed out. The journey was only fifteen minutes long. Artemis wondered what would happen when they decided to take the flare back up. He had been frightened when Holly let the pod free fall into the deep chute before catching the magma flare, but Sheldon might end up killing himself. Maybe they ought to take a shuttle back up as well, or have him sedated…

Artemis himself had never met the full Council. He had heard about them and their ideas when it came to him or Mud Men in general, but he had never actually seen a Council member, much less spoken in the same room with them.

Sheldon was getting to meet all of them in Haven the first few days that he had even really known about fairies. This made Artemis a little jealous. He had kidnapped one of their top officers, for god sakes! All this guy had done was hack into the satellite signals, and he didn't even mean to do this.

Maybe the Council had started changing their mind about humans. Maybe they needed more of the smart ones to help out. It was good to have human contacts if humans just happened to be the dominant species on Earth. It saved money on mind wiping too. It cost a good amount of money to get a person wiped professionally, and the fewer people that needed wiped the better.

All of this was going through Artemis's head as they exited the shuttle. He had never seen this part of Haven before; In fact, he had only seen a simple interrogation room when he had been down here, and then on another occasion a simple room in the police station where he had watched Julius Root's funeral. He had seen more tunnels when sitting inside a craft than any of the city. He knew that if he was to actually go into the city, not only would the pressure make him either very sick or kill him, but the fairies would probably go into mass chaos.

"Danger! Danger!" Sheldon stood up abruptly after Holly had shaken him awake.

"We made it here alive," Holly told him, her arms crossed.

"It could all be an illusion of thoughts you are placing in my head," he snapped back.

"So you mean to say they've taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we've been thinking our thoughts we think we thought? I think…" Holly said sarcastically, her hands on either side of her face.

Sheldon just stared at her, a slight frown on his face. "I sense you are quoting something, but I can't place what it is from."

Holly just shrugged. "It was the station that came on the television when I flipped it on in the bedroom at Fowl Manor."

Artemis nodded at Holly. "The twins like the television show Spongebob Squarepants," he explained, very familiar with the squeaky-voiced sponge. "I myself find the show tiresome and it only teaches children bad habits. I'm very impressed you remembered that whole line."

Holly shrugged again. "I thought it was humorous, so I memorized it."

"Holly! Artemis! Butler!" a voice from behind them called cheerfully. They turned around to see Foaly strolling towards them, a grin on his face. Artemis glanced at Sheldon, who was looking very pale.

"What is that?" Sheldon squeaked.

"I am quite offended," Foaly whined. "I am obviously a centaur, and you are obviously a human."

Sheldon shook his head. "I must be dreaming. I am sleeping and my alarm clock will wake me up any minute."

Foaly looked at Holly, his eyebrows raised. "This is the genius you were talking about? He doesn't seem all that smart to me."

Sheldon perked up at this. "I _am _most certainly a genius. I expect to be receiving the Nobel Prize some day when people actually start appreciating my work," Sheldon began. "I wouldn't expect you to understand, obviously, you are part animal, therefore your brain power can't be up to par."

Foaly whinnied. "Hey, buddy, watch it. You won't be so pompous when I tell you that I was the one who designed all of the LEP computers and equipment." Foaly didn't mention that there were still some of the weapons from Koboi laboratories in circulation.

Sheldon just shook his head. "Just an engineer, huh? I find myself to be disappointed."

Foaly looked at Holly with a hurt expression. "You thought that I would like this guy?"

"Well, you're both really smart; I figured you could show him all of your cool technology-stuff."

Foaly crossed his arms over his chest. "I won't show him my inventions if he is only going to make fun of it. Some people will never be impressed."

Artemis looked at Sheldon with an eyebrow raised. "He had seemed pretty impressed with the technology when I explained it to him."

Sheldon, who had been examining the shuttle with mild interest, looked back at Foaly. "I would like to see your inventions," he said, a small smile curving his mouth.

"Then you must not make fun of me! Caballine says that I shouldn't take criticism from anybody, and I don't take well to criticism. I get enough from this guy," Foaly said, gestured at Artemis, who smiled innocently, which only ended up making him look even guiltier.

Sheldon shrugged. "I shall try to keep my mouth shut, but I am not one to lie."

Foaly glared. "I really do hate you Mud Men. I hope the Council gives you a hard time."

Sheldon's smug expression melted away to be replaced by fear. "Oh dear Lord," he moaned.

"Hey, Foaly, take it easy on the guy. He passed out on the way down in the shuttle and thinks that we are all an illusion," Holly said, frowning at Foaly. "The Council wants to see him alive, and he might just die of a heart attack before then."

"Or I may just jump over that edge," mumbled Sheldon, looking over at the chute.

XxX

"It is coded with a system that only I am able to get into. There are lasers, blast doors, finger printers, the works. Although, I do have an override code that I can plug in to shut off the security systems if there is an emergency," Foaly explained, remembering the time that Opal had locked him in his office and framed him of organizing the B'Wa Kell into a rebellion.

"I need one of these for my apartment," Sheldon said, rubbing his chin. "We got robbed, and the security system that Wolowitz put in tried to kill me."

Foaly looked at him in curiosity. "Tried to kill you?"

"I went into the living room to check the perimeter and was electrocuted to death by an electric net that fell from the ceiling. I almost died. And then a mean man in Bozeman stole my suitcase."

"Sounds like you need a system that is more personalized to your needs," Foaly responded, ignoring the statement about the man in Bozeman, not really knowing what Bozeman was.

"Exactly!"

Foaly showed Sheldon into his office, pointing out the different security functions and cameras and broadcasting systems. Sheldon was unfamiliar with most of the technology that was presented to him, but was fascinated anyways. I was far beyond anything any human companies were even _thinking_ about.

"If you guys put your merchandise on human markets you could have Apple crying at your feet," Sheldon said, typing experimentally on the V-Board wearing the V-Goggles that Foaly had handed to him.

"Ah, but we don't want humans in possession of this stuff," Foaly said. "Can you imagine what humans would do to each other with lasers that are handheld and don't ever run out of charge? We fairies are a peaceful group. Humans are not."

Sheldon pondered this. "Good point."

"We had a whole fiasco a few years ago when Artemis made a computer device with fairy technology. He showed it to the most devious businessman out there and told him he could pay for Artemis to keep it off the market for a year or two. The man stole it and Artemis and Holly had to retrieve it."

"Obviously you succeeded, because I don't see humans taking you over."

"Yes, we got the computer back, wiped the businessman, and wiped Artemis and Butler for good measure."

"You mind-wiped Artemis?" asked Sheldon, shocked.

"Oh, yes. The following year a pixie tried to kill him and he got his memories back, and we promised not to wipe him again."

Sheldon really wanted to hear the full story. It seemed like these people were constantly almost dying and the world was almost being taken over. It was quite amazing, really.

"What does this do?" he asked, pointing to a device sitting on one of the tables.

"That? Oh, well, that's my tin foil hat."

"You didn't answer my question."

"It keeps humans from reading my mind."

XxX

"You didn't want to go with Foaly and watch Dr. Crazy insult him?" Holly asked Artemis.

"No, I have seen Foaly show off plenty. I am quite bored of it," responded Artemis, picking imaginary lint from his jacket.

They were sitting in waiting room much like any one on the surface and were waiting to hear news about the Council meeting. It was supposed to be later in the day, but the details were getting ironed out.

"Why exactly does the Council want to see him? I kidnapped you and they never wanted to see me."

"Well, they didn't like you at all, and were frankly kind of scared of you," chuckled Holly. "They think that Sheldon might be of some help to them and want to negotiate with him face to face."

It made sense to Artemis. If anything went wrong with Sheldon they could mesmer him and then wipe him. Artemis had been a little more devious and cunning, so the Council must have been a little nervous about meeting him in person.

There was a sharp rap on the door, and Holly jumped up to open it. A shorter sprite with balding grey hair walked in, holding an electronic tablet.

"Hehhem," the little sprite cleared his throat. "The Council wishes to meet with Dr. Sheldon Cooper at 3:00 this afternoon in Meeting Room Five."

Holly nodded. "Thank you. Should somebody accompany him, or would they like him to come alone?"

"You two may come to the meeting as well, as I am sure the Council would also like to speak to Master Fowl."

"May I bring my bodyguard?" asked Artemis, knowing what the answer would probably be.

"That giant Mud Man?" squeaked the sprite. "No."

Artemis didn't respond. He knew that fairies tended to get a little nervous around Butler. Butler frightened normal humans due to his size, and the average height of a fairy was right around three feet tall.

The sprite turned on his heel and left the room, closing the door with a click behind him.

Artemis checked his watch. It was about 10:00, and he wondered how Sheldon and Foaly were getting on. It was going to be either hit or miss with those two, and Artemis knew how touchy Foaly could be. Centaurs didn't make friends easily.

Holly stood up. "Let's go find Dr. Crazy. I sure hope he hasn't accidentally activated a bomb of Foaly's or something."

Artemis stood and followed her out of the room, wondering if the Council would mind-wipe both him and Sheldon. Holly was adamant about how anti-Mud Man they could be. It wouldn't be a bad idea to ask Holly exactly what he should say to them to get on their good side. Artemis had mostly dealt with fairies in law enforcement, and most officers, no matter if they were human or otherwise, had the same mentalities. Government officials were quite another story.

"You better be on your best behavior, Artemis, or the Council might decide to do away with you even after all these years," chuckled Holly, her comment cutting through Artemis's train of thought.

"Hmph," replied Artemis.

XxX

"You human scientist are looking at it from the wrong direction!"

"So you're saying that everything we know about science is wrong?" Sheldon asked Foaly, his voice rising in pitch and his southern drawl deepening.

"No, no, just not in the right _direction_. But I can't tell you much otherwise you will go back and tell all of your scientist friends and humans will discover fairies_." _Foaly enjoyed taunting the physicist. Being somewhat of a scientist himself, Foaly knew what it was like to be told that his calculations were incorrect. Of course, his calculations were rarely incorrect.

Artemis and Holly walked into the office to find Sheldon staring at Foaly, two fingers on either temple, looking at Foaly with a gaze that could dry paint.

"What are you doing?" Holly asked him.

"Trying to blow up his brain," Sheldon said simply, not looking away from the centaur. Foaly rolled his eyes.

"Okay, what happened?" asked Holly.

Sheldon put his hands down by his sides and looked at Holly. "Well, it was all find and dandy until he decided to call all of my scientific work irrelevant," Sheldon said, pointing at Foaly. "You are like Leslie Winkle."

"I have no idea who Leslie Winkle is, but I can assure you that not all of your work is irrelevant. You have some of the basics correct, but the equipment you humans have is just not enough for the type of work you are trying to do," Foaly said.

"You take that back," Sheldon said, a frown etched into his face.

"Good comeback," Holly laughed. "Now let's go find some food before somebody eats somebody else."

They all nodded, and Sheldon then proceeded to ask Holly about all of the sanitary conditions the food here was under. Needless to say, he was actually completely satisfied for once. They had _great_ cleaning beliefs here, and even though they didn't eat meat, they sure had some good food.

**Hope I introduced Foaly okay.. Foaly is awesome, and I figured that Sheldon and Foaly would have to butt heads a little bit...Oh yeah, review purlease!**


	7. Mission Geek Retrieval

**Sorry if this took a little while longer than usual. I was working on another fic on a different account... Sorry if this chapter sucks, by the way..**

"The Council meeting is now in session," the elderly elf said, sitting down in his head position as The Council Chairman at the table filled with a bunch of other older fairies. They were wearing the oddest robe-like things Sheldon had ever seen, and he was a major sci-fi fan.

They were currently sitting in a room that looked a little bit like a human courtroom, but with measurements for fairy heights. Sheldon's knees were at about chest level in the chair he was currently sitting in. There was a large raised table at the head of the room which was designed for the Council members to sit at. There was a much smaller and shorter table across from them that was designed for the people they were meeting with to sit at which was where Holly, Artemis, and Sheldon sat. At the back of the room there was plenty of room for an audience to come and watch.

"So, Mr. Cooper," began the elderly elf. Sheldon bit back the urge to correct him on his title. He could do that to a traffic judge, but to these non-human Council members he figured it would most likely be a very bad idea. "You have been accused of hacking into LEP satellite channels."

Sheldon nodded. "Yes, to that I do not deny." They had decided that simple truth was much better than complicated lies, especially since Sheldon could not lie to save his life.

"We are here to decide if Sheldon Cooper is an asset and someone to be kept in order to help the People, or if he is somebody who is a danger to us and needs to be wiped and relocated."

Sheldon tensed. They had not mentioned anything about relocation. What did that mean, exactly? Were they going to remove him from his current life and send him away? Oh, dear Lord.

"Here to defend the case of the Mud Man is the unruly elf of the LEP, Holly Short, and the Mud Boy criminal, Artemis Fowl," the elf continued.

Sheldon did not like the way this was going already. His defenders were not well-liked by the Council and the stakes were very high. If he lost it would not be good.

Artemis stood up. "As you well know, Mr. Cahartez, I have much redeemed myself in the eyes of your People. I have been quite a help to you, and the actions of my people astonish me daily."

"Yes, yes, we know all of this, Master Fowl," grumbled the head elf, scratching his gray hair. "But you constantly worry us and we wonder whether a grown version of you is a good idea to have with about the People in his way-too-brilliant mind."

Sheldon decided that it was a good time for him to step in. "I did not kidnap an elf and did not steal fairy gold. I am superior to most humans in that I know that they are ruining the Earth, and I have a much higher intellect than most of them. And most of all, I didn't mean to hack into the satellite waves; I just came upon them on one of my experiments."

One of the other members of the Council, a pixie with a large, silvery mustache, sat up in his chair. "You scientist types bother me. You think that because you're all smart you can do whatever you want to nature for the sake of s_cience,_" he said, putting air quotes around the word science. "You are all ignorant fools who destroy the environment and have no idea what is really going on around you."

Sheldon puffed up a little bit. "I am a theoretical physicist. All work that I do does not directly affect the environment."

The pixie with the mustache sat back in his chair. "Still don't like your type," he grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Now, Mr. Cooper, if we were to allow you to continue on knowing that fairies exist you would not be able to tell anyone about this," said the head elf. "How good are you at keeping secrets?"

Sheldon fidgeted. Holly stood up. "We could help him along in this aspect. I'm sure a man confronted with the possibility of losing his memories and being relocated would make anyone a good liar."

"I don't know if we can risk it," said another one of the elves on the Council. "Do we really want to put the People in danger just because we have a soft spot for Mud Man geniuses?"

"I have an IQ of 187. I could be of assistance to you," Sheldon said, his voice quavering slightly. He figured that it was not a good time to mention that he was also an honorary graduate of Starfleet Academy.

"I say we put this down to a final vote," said the head elf, turning to his fellow Council members. They all nodded. Oh, dear Lord.

Sheldon's cellphone rang.

XxX

"Hey, Leonard, don't you think it is about time to go looking for Sheldon before he gets killed or something?" Penny asked Leonard as they all sat around eating Thai food.

"Yeah, probably," Leonard said, not making a move to do anything. "But what are we supposed to do if he was taken to Ireland? We can't very well fly there."

"Wow, Sheldon actually got in trouble with the authorities of another country," Howard said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I was wondering when that was going to happen."

They all nodded and finished their meal discussing everything that Sheldon had ever done that was against the law. The list was pretty long.

"Maybe you should call his cellphone again," Penny suggested.

"Good idea." Leonard grabbed the telephone that was sitting on the table next to the chair he was sitting in. He dialed the number and waited as it rang.

Sheldon answered on the second ring and he sounded a little flustered. "What do you want, Leonard?"

"Sheldon, where the hell are you? You have been gone for a whole day now!"

"That is none of your business, Leonard. Get off my back!" Sheldon huffed, sounding like he was hiding something. It was easy to tell when Sheldon was hiding something.

"Sheldon, we're just worried about you. Does this have anything to do with that Irish boy that came to speak to you yesterday?"

Sheldon paused, and Leonard heard him speaking to somebody that was on the other end. "Leonard, if you must know I am attending a conference with a very secretive community that Ireland has for its top scientists. The boy that was here the other day was one of them and came to formally invite me. I cannot divulge any more information as this is a very secretive society and you are not a top scientist."

"Well then… When will you be back?" Leonard responded, feeling a little baffled.

"I have no idea, Leonard, now please keep to yourself and refrain from calling me," Sheldon snapped and the line went dead.

Leonard stared at the phone in his hand. "That was odd," he said, placing the phone back down on the receiver.

"What did he say?" Penny asked.

"He told me that he is at a conference for the best scientists in Ireland and he was invited, though he sounded like he wasn't telling me something," Leonard said slowly, trying to figure out exactly why Sheldon had sounded odd. There had been fear in his voice, like something was frightening him.

"I have a feeling he is in trouble of some sort," Leonard grumbled. He then had an idea. His smartphone had the ability to track other smartphones. He pulled out his cellphone, opened the app, and chose Sheldon's phone. There was a beep and an error code came up. He was somewhere that couldn't be tracked. Yup, Sheldon was in some sort of trouble.

"Well, Sheldon is untrackable, in trouble, and probably in Ireland somewhere with some creepy genius kid. Great," Leonard mumbled, and for once nobody made any cracks at Sheldon. They were all genuinely worried about the guy.

"What do we do?" asked Howard.

"We should all put our brains together and see if we can come up with any ideas. Howard, you call Bernadette, I'll call Amy, and we can brainstorm something," Leonard said, pulling up the dial screen on his phone to call Amy Farrah Fowler.

Raj whispered something in Howard's ear. "He wants us to call it Mission Geek Retrieval," Howard grumbled. Raj nodded, a smile on his face.

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Sheldon is in trouble and we have to find him. He may be irritating, but we are the only ones allowed to pick on the guy." They all nodded in agreement. Sheldon was their friend and they had to get him back. Things were just not the same without him…

XxX

"Now that you are done with your little phone call we need to vote on your future," said the Chairman, and Sheldon almost passed out then and there.

"Before you vote," Artemis said. "You really need to think about how helpful it would be to have a grown Mud Man who just happens to be a genius on your side. There is only so much help I can be considering I am only a teenager, and Sheldon Cooper may just find you again considering how smart he is. And people will really miss him and Mud Men will start asking questions. Do you want that?"

"Those in favor of wiping the Mud Man and relocating him to a new place," said the Chairman, ignoring Artemis completely. Five out of the twelve fairies raised their hands. "All those in favor of allowing him to keep his memories in order to help the People." The other seven fairies raised their hands. Sheldon breathed out in relief. Of course, now he had no idea what they would want with him. They could want to do experiments on him, or harvest his organs. Sheldon shuddered.

"Guess what, little theoretical physicist Cooper? You get to keep your little memories," the head elf said, frowning slightly. He had voted for a mind-wipe.

"We will be keeping in contact with you, but you must go back up to the surface. We do not like that you are spoiling our air with your Mud Man scent. You and Fowl here will be on the next shuttle out."

"What about me, sir?" Holly asked.

"You can escort them to their respective homes, but after that we need you back here. Too much time spent with Mud Men can rot your brains."

"But these Mud Men just happen to be genii," Holly grumbled.

The Council members were already clearing out, talking about some sport that they would all be playing that afternoon. They left Sheldon, Holly, and Artemis all alone in the room.

"Well, that actually went a lot better than I thought it would," Holly said, smiling. "I thought you were done for sure."

Sheldon twitched.

**Please review or I shall bring out my mind-wiping equipment and go crazy... **


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